Jim Wagner: Hey, wait, that actually didn’t hurt at all.

Ape Interrogator: Clearly I didn’t press the button with enough malevolence.

{Ape Interrogator laughs maniacally and, indeed, presses the button with more malevolence. Jim Wagner is unfazed and confused.}

Ape Interrogator: I don’t understand this! This device tricks your banana gland into believing that there are no more bananas in the world.

Clearly the banana glad is as vital to the Ape biology as it is sensitive to the lack of an sweet fruit from which it gains its name. If I could have thought of a sillier reason for gut retching pain, I would have used it!

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