[[Previously, on Wagner! Jim and Koko are captured and submitted to will-breaking interrogation techniques for a series of crimes they are not competent enough to have committed.]]

[[Jim Wagner sits tied to the blue chair with his eyes closed and his face in a grimace.]]

Jim Wagner (Thinking): What’s happening?!? I’m reliving every significant moment from my life…

[[Age 5. 5 year old Jim Wagner sits in front of the TV set in a dark room.]]

Television: Iwl get ywoo wascawy wabbit!

[[Age 12. 12 year old Jim Wagner has been knocked to the ground by a mime that is threatening him with its fist. Another mime stands behind that mime.]]

Second Mime: Don’t come back to this city or we’ll kill you!

Jim Wagner: You’re not supposed to talk!

Ah yes, Thompkins was back in the hilarious state of Minnesota over the holidays and, through techniques previously mentioned was able to pin me down to write down the thoughts and random conversations we’ve had about this story arc for Wagner. You’ll notice over the coming pages the most significant moments in Jim’s life!

All recent comics have been done by inking the comics before scanning. I felt that inking the comics in Gimp tends to make the lines look more uniform, even if I am conscientious about varying the brush size and shape. Using better pens and drawing things larger seems to have made the scanning process less error prone, so for the time being this will continue.

[[The view from Bryan Orion's helmet is shown and Vagrond has disappeared from view.]]

Earth President Vagrond the Second (Narrating): As his colleague disappeared over the horizon Bryan cursed the poor visibility of the coach class Space Tram helmet he was wearing. My father, conversely, attempted to do a quick mental calculation to determine where he was and where Bryan would land. Unfortunately at this time in his life he believed “trajectory” to be a bar in the Tau Ceti system.

[[Vagrond has his cape open, descending.]]

This comic features narration by the Earth President, finally!

Not many people know that today marks the celebrated Fourth Christmas of the Chaerb Family. This marks the official end of the Christmas Holiday and the beginning of the realization that there are now 50% more children’s toys in the house than 2 weeks ago. That’s when the depression strikes as you try to figure out what area is left for walking in…

[[Bryan Orion and Vagrond are falling through the sky, communicating with sign language. Orion's parachute is open so he can make signs normally, however Vagrond must communicate by closing his cape and making signs as he falls, then opening his cape to ascend again.]]

Bryan Orion: Hand Signals (CAREFUL)-(I)-(FEEL)-(WIND)

Vagrond: Hand Signals (NOT)-(A)-(PROBLEM)

[[Vagrond opens his cape to ascend.]]

{FWOOMF!}

[[After Vagrond opens his cape, the wind picks up.]]

{WOOSH!}

[[Vagrond disappears into the clouds.]]

Today’s inauspicious comic marks where the plot begins to follow the original story “Evil of the SMO!”. I hope it makes sense, if not, there’s always the text transcription. You can also listen to the text transcription if you’re blind (note: web comics are significantly less enjoyable if you’re blind).

Despite my better judgment, the feeling wind line did not get turned into ANY kind of fart joke. Not even a subtly implied fart joke.

Also, Thompkins turned me on to Yugioh the Abridged Series. I found episode number 25 to be the most funny one so far. I’ve either never seen the actual show before OR I’ve seen a handful of minutes but, without any context, still very hilarious. Any time you can have a character named Johnny Steps, you’re solid.

Ironically the name “Johnny Steps” wasn’t made up by the creator of the abridged series. It’s the name they used in the original (-ly censored) 4Kids version which can be found here.

[[Bryan Orion is slowly falling with his parachute open, making sign language.]]

Bryan Orion: Hand Signals (IF)- (YOU)- (WENT)- (ALPHA CENTAURI)- (WHY)- (SHIRT)- (”L”)- (NOT)- (”A”)- (?)

[[Vagrond closes his cape and falls, making sign language.]]

Vagrond: Hand Signals (YOU)- (KNOW)- (GSL)- (VACUUM SIGNS)- (COOL)- (!)

[[Vagrond opens his cape and ascends.]]

{FWOOMF!}

Bryan Orion: Hand Signals (I)- (LEARNED)- (GSL)- (VACUUM SIGNS)- (AT)- (SCHOOL)- (SPEAKING)- (OF)- (WHY)- (”L”)- (NOT)- (”A”) -(?)

[[Vagrond closes his cape and falls, making sign language.]]

Vagrond: Hand Signals (ONCE)- (AFTER)- (PARTY)- (I)- (PASSED)- (OUT)- (ROOMMATES)- (REMOVE)- (MIDDLE)- (LINE)

[[Vagrond opens his cape and ascends.]]

{FWOOMF!}

[[Vagrond closes his cape and falls, making sign language.]]

Vagrond: Hand Signals (”L”)- (EQUALS)- (GSL)- (GET)- (IT)- (?)

Someday when they throw me into a mental institution they will cite the fact that I created a setting where quadrupeds use a variant of American Sign Language to communicate in the vacuum of outer space. Then they will cite the fact that in a story I had two people communicate using this language while skydiving. Then it will be remarked that I tried to convey this scene visually in a comic. There will be no objections.

I’ll say if it takes them up to THIS point in your life for them to prove your internment would be justified then the psychologists aren’t trying hard enough. If you want, I’ll bump my shoulder against the padded wall to see if they are off their game or not. I would totally do that for you…

[[Bryan Orion pulls his rip cord and his parachute opens. Vagrond expands the wings on his cape and begins to glide.]]

Two weeks in a row without any dialogue. I guess this makes up for the four panels of solid text that were here 7 weeks ago. So much for any lucrative syndication deals.

Maybe it’s just me, but it looks like Vagrond is falling out of a maple tree.  Two weeks without a words is Thompkins’ way of putting me in line for not commenting enough on previous comic pages me thinks…

Eventually I may get the idea that these blog type things are about linking to other internet site instead of typing up minor information about this Web site. Quick, I need to find a link to the internet…ok, HERE. I will now officially mourn/celebrate the complete end of Netscape 4.72. The utter horror of my developer years at the University of Minnesota, the browser people inexplicably were drawn to and it supported 1 standard feature in the DOM. Good for it!

[[Chapter One]]

[[Falling]]

Hi everyone. The supply of comics drawn summer ‘08 has been exhausted. This one was drawn only a week before, as will be several that follow. I realize that true webcomics fashion would be to draw it at 3am on the day it would post, but I don’t like to let things go to the last minute. When I do let things go to the last minute the quality suffers - the comic would be stick figures. I drew this one on a Saturday as Saturday is the one day every attempt to do schoolwork inevitably fails, so I might as well draw on that day.

Unlike Thompkins, I’ll try to maintain as much of my original Bachelors Degree schoolin’ last minute doing philosphy as I did from those formative years.  Perhaps since I’m only providing some text type wordings, I could even wait until 4 in the morning or so…

Also, pages without words on them leave me with more time to admire the pretty colors that Thompkins used for this chapter front page.  PRETTY!

[[Vagrond and Bryan Orion are still in their seats with their seat belts fastened. Vagrond returns his 'ICE PACK' to the Flight Attendant.]]

Bryan Orion: Isn’t that a big safety school?

Vagrond: I dunno…I was gonna major in shot-put.

Overhead Speakers: PASSENGERS BRYAN ORION AND VAGROND PLEASE DISEMBARK

[[Bryan Orion puts on a space suit with sleeves marked 'SPACE TRAM' and a backpack. Vagrond puts on a black outfit with fabric connecting the arms to the torso.]]

Bryan Orion: I’ve got my suit and parachute. Do you have your cape?

Vagrond: Yeah, yeah. These things are so hard to get on.

Vagrond: Don’t know what the Aurons were thinking.

[[Vagrond wearing the black outfit and Bryan Orion now wearing the full spacesuit with helmet stand as a door closes in front of them. Once the door closes it can be read 'AIRLOCK'.]]

This is the last comic of the series I drew last summer. I feel that it was OK, but could have been better. In particular I feel I was struggling with the characters’ features somewhat. Assuming I’m drawing characters that move at all, it’s generally easier for me to work with normal human features than hilariously distorted comic features. The problems I encountered here were probably due to the fact that my sketching skills have gone downhill since high school. Of course back then I wasted these skills drawing endless comics about a ripoff of Lolo named Bolo, created by Brian Quarfoth.

Based on this I’d like to draw the next comics in this series on larger paper pre-scanning, as well as with more realistic proportions (for the humans anyway). Also I might look for a method of coloring other than the basic fill/gradient method I was using here. We’ll see.

Every so often I look into the search terms that lead to our little gathering of internet sites.  Due to the sanitation mandate that was brought down upon GiantSpaceLizard, the searches here have been much more normal and relevant.  Except for our one paranoid searcher looking for evidence of “humans are giant lizards.”

Chad’s Utopia on the other hand is a little more risque and apparently there are multiple folks wondering about Lars Ulrich’s sexuality, people looking for a brain nerf ball and “hilarious stories about kids” (those people are to be ESPECIALLY disappointed.

Thompkins is definitely the lead on Spaces Adventures but I’ll try to comment with at least SOMETHING on here.  I need to provide the humans are actually giant lizards conspiracy theorists SOMETHING more to read than just Thompkins’ fantastical thoughts of whimsy!

What about this story you wrote? Plus I could also write the planned sequel to Soylent People, “Little Tommy and the Frito-Lay Munchies Factory” (based off “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”) to make random web searchers happy.

(Here is a link to the main Evil Josh & Billy website as they don’t link back to it in the above linked cartoon.  Something about the fast pace and attitude of the writing keeps me going back there.)

[[Space shuttle flies through space.]]

[[Space shuttle flies by planet and sun.]]

[[Vagrond and Bryan Orion are still in their seats with their seat belts fastened. Vagrond presses an 'ICE PACK' to his head.]]

Vagrond: Thaaaat’s better

Bryan Orion: Our boss hired you?

Vagrond: Not what you were expecting from a lizard, huh?

Bryan Orion: Um…no…I mean GSL are usually so…

[[Vagrond points at his t-shirt.]]

Vagrond: Yeah, mostly eggheads. Well, me too kind of …

Vagrond: I almost graduated from Alpha Centauri!

Note that this a lambda on Vagrond’s shirt, as in (l)izard, not an alpha. The real reason is because it looks better. The in-story reason will be explained later.

Chaerb has not yet remarked on this comic.

[[Vagrond throws the liquor cart in front of the Flight Attendant.]]

Vagrond: There we go!

[[Vagrond pushes bottles, cans and cups off Bryan Orion's seat.]]

Vagrond: Just clean up a little here…

[[Vagrond and Bryan Orion are sitting in their seats, Bryan is buckling his seat belt, Vagrond's seat belt is already buckled.]]

Bryan Orion: Look, the name is Bryan, OK? Bryan! The usual spelling.

Vagrond: Ooh, my head Can we hold off the spelling test until we’re in space?

[[Shuttle, marked 'SPACE TRAM' departs from space station where another shuttle is docked.]]

Vagrond: Name’s Vagrond.

This panel and the preceding one were inked on paper and then scanned in, whereas the next two were “inked” on the computer. I honestly don’t know which I prefer, as I like the respective techniques in Panels 4 and 7 better than I do in 5 and 6. Chaerb has also been remarkably silent on this issue.

Chaerb has not yet remarked on this comic.

[[Bryan Orion shakes Vagrond to wake him up.]]

Bryan Orion: Hey! Wake up! I need to get into my seat!

Vagrond: Huh?

[[Vagrond gets up and reaches to shake Bryan Orion's hand.]]

Vagrond: You’re Brain, right? Nice to meet you. Sorry, when I heard our receipts didn’t have the items on them I just kinda plunged.

Bryan Orion: You appropriated the liquor cart?

Bryan Orion: Look, I just started this job. There’s things I need you to say and you’re not saying them…

Bryan Orion: Like getting my name correct - for example!

[[Vagrond removes the liquor cart from Bryan Orion's seat as bottles, cans and cups fall off it.]]

Vagrond: Fine … be a herk and don’t shake my hand. Oof! It’s not like they have Lizard Liquor on a lot of shuttles, you know.

Thompkins has not yet remarked on this comic.

Chaerb has not yet remarked on this comic.

[[A flight attendant leads Bryan Orion towards his seat. Her hat and shirt read 'SPACE TRAM'.]]

Flight attendant: Your seat is this way, sir.

Bryan Orion: Thanks, I’ve got to tell you I’m excited to meet my new partner…

Bryan Orion: I heard he was a GSL, like my boss.

Flight Attendant: Oh, that one. He’s in his seat already.

Flight Attendant: Not your typical lizard, you think?

Bryan Orion: Wh…?

[[Vagrond reclines backwards on his seat, passed out. Next to him, in Bryan Orion's seat, Vagrond has placed the entire liquor cart, which is marked 'BEVERAGES'.]]

Vagrond: Zzzz shurnk ZZZ

This comic was painted in Gimp, and all of the comics in this series were done in either Gimp or Inkscape. Here I had a focus on trying to paint it like a regular painting, i.e. no use of the gradient fill tool and only minimal use of dodge/burn. I would like to color all Space Adventures panels in this manner, however this is too time-consuming at my current skill level and all panels in color would probably be too expensive when I inevitably decide to vanity-publish this series (not that the red felt cover would be cheap). So the majority of future panels will have basic black outlines and be grayscale.

Also, for those of you who dislike the art in this comic/series, please don’t take it as a reason not to check out Gimp or Inkscape. The result from me using Photoshop would have been identical to what’s here, and the truth is I feel I actually was able to do better in Inkscape than I would have been able to in Illustrator.

Chaerb has not yet remarked on this comic.

[[impersonating his six arms. I cringed in fear as my father spoke of the skeletal policebots secretively hunting him at every turn. And when I played in the antarctic forest, a tree-branch would always represent a battle-ax that I was wielding as my father wielded his.]]

[[My intention is to tell these stories as my father told them to me. This series of comic books will focus on a relatively short period given my father's long adventuring career, a time when my father was much younger than I am now. I have chosen to begin with my father's first encounter with the SMO, and continue until the destruction of the larval god outside the Earth's orbit. Granted, there were a few stories of note before this period, and dozens if not hundreds in later years. I am leaving out the majority of encounters with the SMO and the lion's share of the time travel. However I chose to focus on this period of time as it contains my father's most well known adventures. I have also chose it for a selfish reason - this period encapsulates my father's entire tenure on the planet of Númenor, which include my favorite stories. I have chosen to present the stories in comic format in an attempt to capture the action as it appeared in my imagination as a hatchling.]]

[[So sit back and read. The story begins in the year 8396 R.E. as a young man named Bryan Orion has just joined the government planetary inspection agency. He and his partner, who he has not yet met, are just about to inspect a report of squatters on a planet, and its moon...]]

[[Sincerely, Earth President Vagrond the Second]]

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[[Being the first GSL president of the homeworld of the human race, one would not think my legacy would be overshadowed by that of my father. Yet this is very much the case. On May 14th, 9873 R.E., my father passed away quietly from organ failure, at the ripe age of one thousand sixteen hundred and eleven. For one who lived as he did, facing danger even into his golden years, a quiet death came as a surprise. Hearing his stories as I grew up, I would have much more expected him to perish in the stomach of a space leviathan or have been torn to pieces from smuggler machine gun fire somewhere upspin of Taurus. Nevertheless I was greatly saddened to know that I would never again hear firsthand one of his tales of adventure, even though, as his only child, I had heard them more than anyone.]]

[[That brings me to the purpose of this book. My father is revered as a national hero and appears in many stories as a folk hero. However, I heard of his life in a different manner. As a child I watched my father mimic the demon Araneo's voice as he gestured wildly]]

[[Photograph of Earth President Vagrond the Second (August 30th, 9872 R.E.)]]

Earth President Vagrond the Second has been mentioned in many conversations between Chaerb and myself, though he is only mentioned briefly in one completed story. He does appear, along with Rob Kestler the Thirty-Third, in one unfinished story, however.

Chaerb has not yet remarked on this comic.

[[The Classical Space Adventures of My Father]]

[[by Earth President Vagrond the Second]]

[[book one]]

[[EVIL OF THE SMO!]]

[[Adapted for comics by Garth Thompson and Chad Wagner]]

I was trying to make the cover look as if it was red felt with the lettering and picture as an indent. Possibly even similar to Count Longardeaux’s Book (of Party Tricks, Redneck Jokes, and Worldly Records). I think I got it for the most part, but it looks a little blurry. Also I should have added a spine for the book. Oh well, next time.

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